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Welcome
Imagine if..
Every Dreams Could Come True

This is a world of my own
where I divulge my inner and sacred secrets.

Life is full of dramas, and it is up to you to decide the way you view your own world.


Friday, April 30, 2010
10:01 PM

Emo Night

I am stupid


And I'm a coward..


Someone at work is pissing me off, making me feel so annoyed, and pushing all the work to me, whereas this person is not doing anything, or I should say, I really dunno what she's doing.


I'm irritated and pissed, but all I did was complain my heart out.


A concerned friend of mine tried his best to persuade me into talking to my big boss about this, he even teached me how to do it & what to say.


But I don't even try to do anything!!


Sigh.. it's not I don't wanna do anything.. I had the chance and I was tempted to, but but but.. I really dunno how..


For a matter of fact, I know I won't be able to elaborate my points, and I'll stutter, and I'll don't know how to fight back. My mind is SIMPLY slow..


Not only that, I have also been thinking, what if I can actually perform better and finish up whatever that is thrown to me? Then I would be able to talk to my big boss without any guilty or incompetent feelings.


It's like I have faults also, so how dare I go and complain about others?


Sigh..


But I'm thankful to this friend of mine, you know who you are. Thank you for your advices, concern and all the help given.


I will try to do something about it, I'll really try, it's a promise..


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Wednesday, April 21, 2010
12:59 AM

I Wish....

Sometimes, I wish I would do things differently. That I would get the chance to go back and undo things.

Sometimes, I wish I could be more of a do-er than a watcher.

Sometimes, I wish I would appreciate things more and not push it or let it slips away

Sometimes, I wish I could be somebody else.

And sometimes, how I wish I could run away from the harsh & cruel reality, and just hide somewhere..

Sometimes, I wish...


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Monday, April 12, 2010
11:18 PM

Love....

Since a while back, I've heard so many friends of mine getting engaged or married soon..


It's really something to feel happy about, at least for them, that they manage to find their true love at such young age.


It's really romantic and sweet, to know that there is someone who cares for you more than yourself, who is happier/saddest when you are happy/sad, someone to whisper sweet nothing in your ears and take you into their arms..


Looking at the process of friends (bloggers too) finding their other half, fall madly deeply in love, goes through a dozen obstacles, and in the end marriage.


So nice..


Sigh..makes me soooo emo..


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Friday, April 9, 2010
11:19 PM

Guilt

This always happen..


I feel guilty or so bad for nothing. Especially when it comes to you.


Is it because I care too much? To the extent I just wanna please you? Or am I just too sensitive where I take every words too seriously?


Or is it you who just intentionally or unintentionally make me feel this way?


This guilt thingy is really killing me.. It makes me feel so defeated, like I'm so useless like that.


Aiyo...


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Tuesday, April 6, 2010
11:53 PM

Goodbye

I have never really been through a proper goodbye before.


Goodbye as in somebody close to you leaving for another country for whatever reason it is, and this person will not be back anytime soon.


Suddenly there are quite a number of people who would be leaving. Well, one basically left already, and one is not human, but a dog.


The first was Shereen, whom I dedicated a post to earlier. It was hard to say goodbye to her, I couldn't help it but I cried.


The next would be Dada. After Shereen, I know her leaving would practically be even harder for me. I've even said "Can you not go?" twice to her already.. Sigh..I am really sure I'm gonna cry like a baby on her last day..


Besides them, there are other colleagues leaving at the end of this month too..


But the next goodbye that saddens me the most would be saying goobye to Twinkle.


Twinkle is a golden retriever, who has been staying with us since she was few months old.


Due to unforeseen circumstances, she is following her owner to China.


I cannot imagine not seeing her anymore. It's really sooooooooo saddening... I would miss her very very much...


I can't take it.. I hate goodbyes.. I can't bear to say goodbye to all these people and Twinkle..


Can you all not go? :(


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